Navigating workplace dynamics can be challenging, especially when you want to support your colleagues but simply cannot commit to every task that comes your way.
Here’s how you can say "yes" to the person while saying "no" to the task in a professional setting while still being a supportive team member.
Acknowledge the Person's Request
Begin by acknowledging the request, showing that you value their needs and are attentive to their situation. Use empathetic language to convey your understanding and appreciation.
Example: "Thank you for considering me for this project. It sounds like an exciting opportunity." However.....
Express Your Constraints Clearly
Be honest about your current workload or other commitments. This transparency helps your colleague understand your situation without feeling rejected. Keep your explanation concise and respectful.
Example: "Unfortunately, I am currently managing a lot of high-priority tasks and won’t be able to give this project the attention it deserves."
Someone Else's Agenda Doesn't Have to Be Yours
It’s important to recognise that someone else's agenda does not automatically become your agenda. This is your career, it is a matter of prioritisation, discernment, and professionalism. Understanding this helps you maintain control over your own workload and focus on what’s most important for your role and responsibilities.
Example: "I understand this is a priority for you, but I need to prioritise my current projects to meet my deadlines and I am at capacity right now. I hope you understand."
Assist with Realistic Terms
Clearly communicate your capacity and the time frame within which you can realistically offer help.
Example: "I can help with this, but I would need until Friday to provide my input. Will that work for you?"
Check in with Your Manager
Sometimes, you might need to check in with your manager to see if you can shift some of your priorities in order to help. This ensures that any adjustments to your workload are aligned with your team’s overall goals and priorities.
Example: "I’d love to help with this project. Let me check in with my manager to see if we can reprioritise some of my tasks to make this possible."
Offer an Alternative
Suggest an alternative solution or offer to assist in a different way. This demonstrates your willingness to support your colleague even if you can’t take on the specific task.
Example: "While I can't take the lead with this project, I’d be happy to review the plans and provide feedback or help brainstorm ideas."
Highlight Your Support
Reiterate your support for the person to reinforce that your refusal is not a personal rejection. Show that you are still there for them in other capacities.
Example: "I really hope the project progresses well. Please keep me updated, and let me know if there are other ways I can assist."
Practise Assertive Communication
Maintain a confident and polite tone throughout the conversation. Assertive communication ensures that your boundaries are respected without damaging the relationship.
Example: "I hope you appreciate that I need to prioritise my current commitments, I am here to support you in other ways."
Examples of Setting Boundaries in the Workplace
Time Management
If you are frequently asked to take on additional tasks, set clear boundaries around your availability.
Example: "I am available for meetings on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Let's schedule our discussion then."
Task Delegation
If a task is outside your job description or expertise, suggest delegating it to someone more suitable.
Example: "This task seems more aligned with Jane’s expertise. She might be better suited to handle it."
The Importance of Prioritisation
Oliver Burkeman, in his book Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, highlights the importance of prioritising effectively and managing our limited time. He emphasises that trying to do everything leads to burnout and inefficiency. This means making tough choices about what to neglect and being mindful of how we spend our time (Oskar Eggert).
Burkeman also discusses the importance of letting go of the obsession with productivity and embracing the fact that life is finite. This perspective helps us focus on the present and make more meaningful choices about how we spend our time (From the Green Notebook).
Conclusion
Saying "yes" to the person but "no" to the task is a valuable skill that helps maintain healthy relationships and personal boundaries in the workplace. By acknowledging the request, expressing your constraints, offering alternatives, and practising assertive communication, you can navigate these situations effectively. Remember, someone else’s agenda does not have to be your agenda. It’s about prioritisation, discernment, and professionalism. Sometimes, checking in with your manager to shift priorities can help balance your workload effectively.
Prioritise both your commitments and your relationships, finding a balance that works for you. Remember, it’s okay to say no to a task (professionally). Your time and energy are valuable, and managing them wisely ensures that you can be your best self both personally and professionally.
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