Feeling totally bogged down in a job that no longer serves you well can be an incredibly frustrating experience.
This state of paralysis, where you’re caught between wanting to leave and feeling compelled to stay, is a lot more common than you might think.
It’s not getting your CV sorted, applying for new roles or interviewing that is the hardest part;
It is reaching the emotional decision that you are done with your current situation that poses the biggest challenge. You are human after all.
The Comfort of the Known
As humans our minds are naturally risk-averse. We tend to find comfort in the known, even if the known is unpleasant. Despite working in a job that is boring, chaotic or unfulfilling, the predictability of it all can provide a false sense of security.
It has become your daily habit. You know what to expect each day, even if it’s the same frustrations and challenges you faced yesterday and the day before. This routine, while stifling, becomes a comfortable prison because it can appear better than the fear of the unknown.
The Blah blah state
Many people find themselves in what I like to call the "blah blah." This is the back-and-forth internal debate where you weigh the pros and cons of staying versus leaving. You may recognise the toxicity, the pressure or the stagnation in your workplace but continously counter those observations with blah blah reasons to stay like;
I just hired a new team member…
I have just got a pay raise…
We are really under resourced at the moment…
My performance review is coming up soon..
I am in the middle of a big project…
I can’t let my work friends down…
My job offers hybrid work…
We are due a team review soon…
I am well paid…
I have a good pension….
I have a flexible schedule…
I am just back from holiday….
The list goes on and on. Sometimes when you verbalise these excuses out loud they can sound a bit silly. However, they can be valid reasons, however, they can keep you trapped in that cycle of indecision. The continuous back and forth between staying and leaving prevents you from making a decisive move towards change.
Creating Space for Change
Change can only happen when you create the mental space for it. This means reaching a point of emotional maturity where you definitively acknowledge that the positives of staying are outweighed by the negatives. You come to recognise that certain aspects of your job, such as company culture or a challenging boss, are unlikely to change. Look at the evidence. While there may be occasional good days, the overall lack of growth, recognition, and opportunity should guide your decision.
Embracing the Unknown
Once you are resolute in your decision, you’ll find that the world begins to open up. Opportunities you never considered may start appearing because you’re finally ready to receive them. Being stuck in indecision blocks these possibilities, but by choosing to move forward, you create the conditions for change to happen.
The hardest part of leaving a job is not the mechanics of finding a new one; it’s the emotional journey of deciding that you’re ready to embrace the unknown. By choosing yourself and your happiness, you’re paving the way for a more fulfilling and rewarding career path.
You can ride two horses for a time. Time to build Your Safety Network.
Once you set that absolute intention, trust that you can ride two horses for some time and begin to create that safety network for your next role. With a strong resolutions and real intentionality you can manage your current responsibilities while actively exploring new opportunities.
That resolution may come in the form of engaging with a career coach. With your commitment made and intention set, a career coach can provide the necessary guidance and encouragement—sometimes that needed "kick in the butt" to build on your resolution and get into action.
Have a listen to a great podcast from Barry Scott Kaufman and Dr James Doty discussing the neuroscience of intentionality. https://scottbarrykaufman.com/podcast/the-neuroscience-of-manifestation-w-dr-james-doty/
Live the Life you Love - Onelife Coaching.ie
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